Why do I still seem to care? I know it's awfully selfish of myself but why is it that when you're happy, it seems wrong or strange? Why do I feel like I should be happy too? Maybe because everytime you were happy previously, I was happy with you or for you. You seem so happy even without me, if not happier. I guess after all the time I've spent with you I still don't mean much to you, just a person who tagged along with you in the holidays when you were bored or talked with you on the phone when I/you was upset or couldn't fall asleep. You meant an awful lot to me but I guess people can think of others differently. You said you had trouble trusting people. So do I. After all I've been through, why wouldn't I?

It seems like you've given up on this issue. You only care about three people. One of which is yourself. But no, I don't blame you. How could I put the blame on you when you're the one who's always right!?

Things are gradually getting worse and worse and the time is gradually approaching where everything will be extremely awkward, maybe even worse than it is at the moment. Yes, I'm very afraid that I'll have to leave everything behind but then again, I guess you gain things in life, but unfortunately lose other things as well. It's just such a shame that my loss had to be so big and have such an impact on me. I think about the horrible decision I've or we've made. I do. I get angry, frustrated, irritated and start crying or hurting myself. They say crying is the easiest way of expressing your feelings but if it is, why do I feel that you don't even see or notice me? Do I even exist to you?

Someone once said to me that I sound like I am desperate for attention from everyone. It's not true and I hated that person for giving me such stupid advice when that person didn't know much about me. Oh well. We'll just wait and see how things turn out.

Gosh! I hate all this. What happens if you fall in like with someone you shouldn't. Why are there such 'restrictions'. Who made such 'rules' that the human race must follow? How did they come about? This is pathetic. No worries. I'll get over this anyway. I won't let some stupid teenage feelings get to me :)

Why are exams so important? I really don't understand how people can place students in categories by just examining their test results. Sometimes students do good and sometimes they do horrible. It depends on how much they study. Just because you get awful results, doesn't mean you're stupid. It means you just didn't try hard enough. Why do people make such a great deal out of it, including myself? ..