Why have I recently been full of mixed emotions, strange feelings and weird thoughts? It seems that everytime I am not occupied by MSN or studying for the preliminary exams, I think weird thoughts and imagine things that 'just aren't right'. Oh, and no, they are not sexual fantasies. They're just weird. Although they confuse me, at the same time, they seem to amuse me and they put a smile on my face. I guess it's what I really want. The things I really want to happen. If only you could control what happened in your life by just thinking about it. Acing exams, life full of surprises and happiness, everything going to plan; such a perfect and enjoyable life.

How is someone supposed to react or feel when they have never been told that they were special or uniquely beautiful in some way or form. When they feel unloved and so boring and ordinary, with no talents or hobbies. Their life is based around a minimal amount of people and that person is not noticed; only by a limited number of people.

As a friend, how are you meant to support or comfort someone else during hardship- someone who is emotionally distressed or frustrated and confused?

What is the explanation for or why do people always take some things for granted? Why do people go for the things or people that are 'unacceptable'? Why do people strive to do things but then suddenly that person's laziness gets in the way? Why am I so easily distracted? Why do I spend so much time doing things that will not help me in any way? Why do I leave things of high priorities till the end? Why can't I stick to plan or schedule? Why am I so unorganised? It bothers me. It really does.

You wear something. It annoys me. You say something. It annoys me. You write something. It annoys me. You smile at something. It annoys me. You eat something. It annoys me. Avoiding someone does not make anything better. No, not at all. But we know that we are both avoiding eachother and possibly creating a bigger, worse picture. I just can't stare at you without glaring or 'giving filthies' to you. It just bothers me. Everything you do or say seems to disturb me an awful lot. When you say something I feel like stuffing something in your mouth in order to make you zip it. You probably feel the same way about me. Although you may feel like that, no, I will not shut up. I'm just a talkative person; when I'm around the people I've grown so close to.

If you stop seeing or talking to someone for a while, do you really begin to lose interest in that person? If that person does something horrible or does something self-centered, do you dislike or even hate that person? If so, if that person asked for forgiveness, would you forgive that person? Would you forget about the detrimental points about that person? This confuses me.