You've let me down quite a lot of times during the past. You've made me shed tears- tears of sorrow but on the other hand you've also made me very happy, causing tears of happiness. You've made me smile to myself countless times and you've also hurt my feelings at times which was discouraging but I was, and still am, very grateful to know such a person like you. Someone who would be so insulting at times but also a person who was ever so comforting when I felt upset or miserable. You've made me so angry at times but I seem to have forgotton why I felt the way I did. Sometimes I got so frustrated at you despite the fact that you barely did anything wrong or hurtful. I once said I regretted ever meeting you. I wonder if I truely meant those words that came out of my mouth. I have no idea. I can't seem to understand anyone, including myself.

The little things you say make me happy. Those random things you tell me make me happy. Even just knowing that you would spend time to talk to me, even if only for quite a short while, makes me happy. Everytime you start a conversation makes me happy. Every time I hear from you. Every time I hear your voice on the phone. Every time you ask pointless questions. Every time you ask me for my opinion on a certain thing. Every time I spend time with you. It makes me happy.

It disappoints me how you don't feel the same. It disappoints me to know that I lack some of your high expectations. The feeling or realisation that you're just 'too good'. It disappoints me. How silly or stupid you can be. How you don't understand one's feelings. How you can be so nice to someone one day but turn out to be such a bastard another day. But you're just too considerate at times. You're too caring. You make me feel so inconsiderate, so greedy and selfish, and even more imperfect than I already am. But there's no need to worry. One day all this will be over and I'll have the opporunity to look back, reminisce, and laugh at the stupid feelings I had for you; the immature things I thought, the 'weird' opportunities I had once wished for and how I once wanted you to view me.

Just like I have always done so previously, I still do find it difficult to express my feelings and describe my emotions to someone's face. Someone once treated me like rubbish for doing so. But this is me. I, too, wish I was brave enough. It's extremely hard to change your personality or the way you act. Some people are just so open with their feelings but me; I'll just keep them to myself hoping that you'll get the common sense one day and realise all these things I feel. Sometimes I'm afraid. Sometimes I think you already know how I feel. Sometimes I keep thinking to myself that you know but you're too embarrassed to step up and say that I'm full of too many imperfections; scratches.

If only you felt the same. You never will. But if only for just one single day, you felt the same. How glad would I be? How happy would I be? I really would feel like screaming, laughing out loud, dancing and singing. How happy would I be that you would even consider giving me a second look despite all these differences. I guess I should remain grateful for the things I currently have and forget everything I had ever wished for before. So I will. Well, I'll try. Although I've tried for so long. I'll still continue. I refuse to give up easily and let these silly teenage feelings get to me.

[edit]Sydney lost to WCE by exactly one point :/ & I came second for the Japanese exam :)[/edit]