I saw two people on my 'outing' today after school. One who I onced admired and other who brings alot of memories into mind. The times I laughed and had a great time with my old, old friends. He reminded me of every single thing we used to do together. The immature things we used to do and say when we were primary school kids. I really miss them now. Now that I think to myself, I'm worried that they may have received a sense of abandonment when I suddenly left them one day without any notice. I miss them heaps.

Now that person has completely overtaken me in your life. Nothing matters more to you than her and you'd do absolutely anything for her. It seems like a real great deal and loss to me which I think is too late to change. No matter what I do now, it's just too late to make things better. I could try anything I could possibly think of but I guess you've decided to ignore the past. It is too late to make a difference in the current thoughts you have right now. The damage has already been done and now it's only the scars that remain on you, both physically and emotionally. You'd do anything for her. To see you not being able to sacrifice such little things for me really did hurt when you used to do almost everything I had wished for. But yes, I do understand and I probably would do the same if i was in your position, which I hope never to be in. I've heard so many things in the past, majority of which sound so cliche but these ones I've heard recently really do fit. They really do make sense and it really does apply to everyone.

The things that I think to myself or say to others. It's just not true. I know for sure that the words I say aren't truthful and that they're meaningless. I repeatedly try to refrain from saying or thinking those things. My mind's just playing games with me and it seems to leave me in constant confusement. I guess one day this 'problem' will no longer be a problem and we'll look back, reminsce, and laugh with eachother about how awfully stupid we once were. I, as many other people have, lack trust in people around me; sometimes even those who are awfully close to me and mean a whole lot to me. It's been said that as we grow, we change and gain knowledge. Well, it's fair to say that it's absolutely true. I've learnt so many things from both beneficial and detrimental milestone events or happenings of my life.

It's just another misunderstanding and I guess I can't really tell you the real story because I'm not sure if you're thinking what I'm presuming. I just want you to know that it's not true whatever you've seen or heard. Don't do the things you do because of the assumptions you've made because I can tell you for sure, that they're incorrect. You mean so much to me and I doubt I'll ever do anything to hurt anyone I cherish as much as yourself like you think I'm doing to you. I try and make things easily apprehensible but I guess it's just not as clear as I think I'm making it. You never did and still don't seem to understand the things I say and why I say them. Don't make me worry about these things. Don't let the negatives aspects overpower the positive like they've always seemed to do. Don't make assumptions. If it is true, you know I'd tell you because I trust you and I've grown close to you. Don't ever question that, please.

Have you ever taken a moment to think to yourself that I might have felt the same way you currently do when you did similar things previously, more frequently? I'm just human too. It hurts me too..

Good luck to Steven and Brandy for HSC =) xo.