I'm not sure if you're aware that you're extremely unappreciative of other peoples' happiness. Why not for a change just think of how I felt when you were in my position and the things you did. Why don't you think you never bothered me? It did bother me. I just didn't really say it to your face which I really should have done. You only think it bothers you when other people seem to do it. Why can't I do things that you've done previously? Aren't I special enough? Am I just not allowed to be happy for once? I can't help it. I can't seem to hide it. I just want to scream it out in front of your face; these things I feel. I want to be strong and opinionated for once but I guess that's just not me. I'll keep this to myself for the nine hundred and ninety ninth time. I really don't want such a little thing to jeopardise a major aspect I must face at least once a fortnight. I've just decided to deal with this. Is it really for the reason I think? Or is it for the alternative thought that never seems to stop running through my mind? Is this what it's supposed to feel like? The thing I never thought I would be able to experience. Sometimes I worry how other people will view me but I really can't even be bothered to pretend that I care anymore. I have way too many things to care about so I don't understand why my head keeps making me reconsider so many things. Maybe it'll just help me gain confidence in the future. Knowing that I'm not the weak, quiet person I used to be. I can be outspoken if I really needed to. I could go up to you, face the 'worse' thing happening right now. I could face my problem right in the face and actually say what I thought. I could go up and resolve things or at least try to do so. The things you said to me previously for the certain incapabilities. Would this change the way you see me? Why do I care? Do I care? I really really really really don't want to but I just can't help but think about the future possibilities that may lie ahead of me. Whatever you try and do to make things 'better', I really couldn't give a damn. I just want you to disappear. I just don't want to face you as often as I do. I'd rather live without having to see you ever again, rather than practically all the time. Yes, all the pain is gone but the scars constantly and permanently remain on me. The scars I see everyday. The marks that remind me of the past happenings. They remind me to never again trust someone as much as I trusted you. It reminds me about all the horrible things you did to me. It reminds me to never let you come near me again. Just stay away. Goodbye.

Good luck to Steven and Brandy for HSC =) xo.