I know that whenever I search for you, all I'll find is an emptiness and that you'll always have higher priorities than myself. I keep telling myself that I should learn to deal without such things like I have done so before. I find it hard to remember what my life was like before I met you. How did I spend my days without speaking to you? How did I make my way through the days without knowing you when right now, I find it so hard to stop worrying when I don't talk to you for more than 24 hours. You've impacted my life so much and in so many ways, and you've become one of the people I think I must talk to everyday. I have so many things to tell you but I always seem to forget as soon as I open a conversation window and at times when I do know what to say, I just don't know how to begin and my words muddle up. I seem to confuse myself and I leave you speechless. At times like those I feel so silly, so stupid and embarrassed. I know it doesn't bore me because the thought of just spending time with you brings a smile to my face but at times I worry that you will and already have lost interest and that you won't care anymore. The misunderstanding that you had before, knowing that it hurt you, it broke my heart. Knowing how upset you got and how you've been hurt previously, really makes me reconsider the things I say or do. That day you were by my side, the day you kept me warm and the day you made me feel special. You really did make me feel like one of the luckiest people in the world. The fact that you were willing to sacrifice things for me. I felt so cared for. You made me feel so secure. The things I couldn't feel for years. It's such I shame that I constantly get the impression that you don't care anymore. I hate being wrong. But just this once, I hope I am.