It was too good to be true from the beginning. I should have known that I would be one of the many accessories which soon mean nothing and lose importance. I thought you were literally the answer to my prayers, everything I ever hoped for, but you somehow turned out wrong. One of the few things I've had to encounter previously. Those things that made me suffer and feel so much disappointment. Nothing can change the person I am. Looks? possible but I'm not willing to go under the knife to look all pretty as you continue to go ahead and just walk straight past me. There's no meaning anymore. I don't even look forward to doing the things I once enjoyed. I'm afraid I'll encounter you somewhere and I worry how I would react. It really is you that's the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep each night. You're the one who constantly leaves traces behind which don't allow me to forget about you. You come and you go. One second you're here but the next, you're gone never to be seen again for quite a while. And as I begin to get used to being unable to see or hear from you, you return and the cycle starts all over again. At one moment everything can just mess up. In one minute, everything can change. There's quite a few people who point of how I'm feeling each day. Too bad the reason why I feel that way doesn't know that it's the cause. Well, there are obviously expectations that are set up too high for me to even come close to reaching. I'm afraid I cannot become the things you want people to be. I'm me. This is what I was like from the beginning, this is what I'm like now and that's probably the way I'm going to remain.

I see her. She's beautiful. She's almost perfect. She has a sense of humour which lasts. She can keep you company whenever you need. I'm the opposite. I'm barely anything anymore. I'm full of imperfections which never tend to go away. I find it hard to keep things flowing as if nothing's changed. You never try to make things better. You push everything towards me so I can do all the trying and so I do. It's just that the amount of hard work I put in doesn't really show. The consequent happenings bother me. It's just like some awkward moment I try to ignore but it's just not possible. It just remains. The atmosphere is queer and hate it. I'm not sure if you're aware of this but it's just not right. Something that was once a enjoyable moment of my day has turned into a daily chore which I dread partially. Fleeing doesn't really solve the problem so I'll remain here waiting for time to take its toll. It's not like I have any other option. You seem to be able to flee every little unhappy place or thing which bothers you, either literally or metaphorically. You always have free time yet you seem to waste it all on one thing which to me, seems quite foolish. You don't understand how hard I try to escape these thoughts. I try and keep myself busy all day to keep you out of my head. But every single moment I have to spare, you're the one I think about. You're constantly roaming around. It's a rocky journey. It's risky. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm so clueless. I don't know how I should react. We'll just have to wait and see how things turn out. Hopefully there'll be a positive outcome but if not, you were worth every single moment of my time and I appreciate every little thing you've done to make me feel happy previously.