After you thought you had nothing to lose and you thought things couldn't get any worse than they were before, they got worse. You try so hard to make things better and yet your effort has no effect on the problem. The tears you cry aren't for that person. It's the person you thought s/he was. You see the smallest things and it even surprises yourself on what an impact little things can have on you. You know it's really hard to forget about the past and move on so that's possibly the reason why you seem to over react but still it doesn't make any sense to you. You never thought such a thing was possible in that person and the way you had to find out was quite upsetting and also shocking. It's possibly the worst way to come to the realisation of things like these but I guess you knew it all in the first place. You knew that things would be like that if not worse so you don't really understand why you're so disappointed. You make decisions which really hurt not only yourself but the people around you and it finally comes to the stage where there's no turning back no matter how hard you try or how much you yearn for that thing. When it finally comes to the stage where you have to leave everything behind, you just want to rewind and start everything all over again. Fresh. It really does make your heart ache but at the same time it actually makes you angry at how self-centred one can be at one time yet so thoughtful and caring at another. It never seems to make sense to you what that person's really feeling and what thoughts are running through that person's mind. It's quite funny how the smallest things can make you happy but even smaller things can make you upset. It's quite weird how the first thing that comes to mind is the thought of forgiving someone for their actions rather than trying to plan revenge on them. You always seem to compare the emotional pain to the physical pain you may currently be suffering and you can't help but agree that the emotional pain really is much more unbearable than the rest. You try so hard to seem the closest to half decency as you possibly can but you seem to catch the wrong kind of attention. The things you don't really want or need seem to always be available to you. It's quite ironic how sometimes you say something about a certain issue but you mean the complete opposite. You find certain things extremely grateful but others really inappropriate, pointless and saddening. The only things you can do at certain times are strictly limited and yet you can't seem to get them right. You always go off in the wrong track and even though there are 'road signs' up to guide you on where to go and what to do, you're completely lost and have absolutely no idea on what to do. Sometimes you question those signs and wonder if they're ever made to deceive you. Those things you really trust come to question and that leads you to think of yourself as awfully pathetic. You begin to lose trust in the most trustworthy things and you fall for the things you've barely gotten to know or understand. It really does seem to scare you at times when you feel like the things you really wanted are trying to escape or avoid you. It feels like they're trying to abandon you because you're selfish and want everything to yourself. Well now you can finally come to the realisation of the things that you thought you could only see in movies and wish for the same; sincerity, heartfelt apologies and a perfect resolution to everything whether it be large or small.