there's an awkwardness that constantly remains there
something that wasn't there before
has somehow found its way there
i don't know why, for sure
but i'm pretty certain i have the idea why

it's true
time means absolutely nothing
you can know someone for around half a year
or a month or however long
but they can be the one who comforts you best
although everyone else says they're useless or stupid
they can be the one who makes you laugh most
and makes you smile whenever a word is spoken
they remain in your head
and even the slight thought of them
or the mention of they're name
can make you smile
even the smallest things they do can make you proud
but once they're away you can't help but think negatively
you can't help but wonder if someone else's comments are true
you can't help but consider whether or not
they've forgotten about everything
and you're quite frustrated about how someone can change so dramatically
with five or six words
i feel like i've had something quite special taken away by someone
who doesn't seem real
someone who seems superficial and selfish
someone who only judges one by physical appearances or interests
quite frankly, it's silly.
let's just say that 1 month has overtaken 8
now that thing is acting like a barrier
pulling two people apart
and it's so upsetting honestly
what's the point of having something for a while, growing close to them
but eventually having them 'taken away' from you
i don't know why i can't help but
get the feeling that i've lost you

"SO I GO OUTSIDE AND FAKE A SMILE"