HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE : )

Okay, I don't know why I'm so surprised when I knew I shouldn't have had my hopes up to begin with. Now that's led to this feeling of you letting me down, when really, it's me who let myself down. Sometimes I wonder why I can't get everything to go my way but then again my selfishness partially proves why bad karma always seems to be able to creep it's way into my situation. I knew it would be good while it lasted. I also knew it wouldn't last so long. Everytime I imagine it, I can't seem to find the reason why. Why I keep imagining that someone leaves me; that someone forgets about me for someone else; that someone will cheat on me in the future. Selfish, insecure and stupid? Well, maybe that's just what I am afterall. I'm human and that means I'm not always perfect.

Different things have different meanings to different people but I can't seem to accept it. I want to know what they've done before; to make you never want to let go. What have they done to leave their mark in you? What have they done to make you want it even though it has hurt you so much and let you down? Would I be able to match up to it? Or will the future never be as good as the past ever was? Everytime you left remnants of your past behind for everyone else's eyes to feast on, I admit, I was silly and overexaggerated the situation. But that may as well be another sign of insecurity.

Why do I keep picturing that the one thing that made me cry will repeat itself in the not-so-far future? Then, I had someone to lean on, hold it in and make me stronger, but I keep seeing images that one day, it'll only be me; myself; I'll have to stand up and assert my feelings alone.