I HATE THE FACT THAT I MISS OPPORTUNITIES AND LET EVERYTHING SLIP AWAY. THE THING I HATE MORE IS HAVING TO SEE EVERYTHING THAT'S MISSING IN MY LIFE BE FULL IN SOMEONE ELSE'S SO BEFORE YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE ASSUMPTIONS OF WHY I'M FUCKING AGRO, WEIGH OUT THE POSSIBILITIES AND LOOK BEYOND THE SQUARE. SOMEONE TOLD ME TO JUST GO FOR IT BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE GUTS. I'M JUST NOT THE TYPE TO REVEAL EVERY SINGLE EMOTION, FEELING OR SITUATION I ENCOUNTER AND IF THAT BUGS YOU SO MUCH THEN GO PISS OFF AND HUMP A POLE FAGGOTS. I HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS BUT I'VE DECIDED TO CHOOSE THE MOST DIFFICULT AND I SIT HERE AND WONDER WHY I FEEL SO SHIT AND HOPELESS. MAYBE ALL THE SHIT ALL THE FUCKTARDS TOLD ME IS TRUE AFTER ALL. SIGH, WELL I'VE RELEASED MY INNER BITCH; JUST DEAL WITH IT. ALL GIRLS ARE HOES, I JUST FEEL FREE TO SAY MY CRAP.

CAN YOU STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME WANT THINGS I CAN'T HAVE EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY DO? EVERY TIME YOU DO OR SAY SOMETHING, YOU REMIND ME OF THE PAST AND I JUST CAN'T STAND IT. I RESPOND TO ALL YOUR ACTIONS BY GETTING ANGRY AND GIVING YOU ATTITUDE BUT JUST THINK OF HOW YOU JUST LEFT; SON OF A MANWHORE. YEAH, I'LL BITCH ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY OVER AND OVER, JUST TO HOPE THAT MY BRAIN WILL GET THE MESSAGE THROUGH BUT BEING AS DIMWITTED WAS I AM, I CAN'T SEEM TO ACCEPT THE FACTS. I JUST WANT AND MISS EVERYTHING EVEN MORE. BLARGHHH.

SHE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO BE GRATEFUL ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE'S GOT AND I JUST NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT THAT I'M JUST NOT AS LUCKY AS SOME OTHER PEOPLE.

I just want what I had before. Is it too much to ask for? sigh..